Shitty joke

LESSON 1

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an American and a French, who found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.

Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of Water to become, then your wish will come true."

The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE". The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The Frenchman was so Happy swimming and drinking from the pool.

Next is the Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted, "VODKA" and Immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER". He was so Contented with his beer pool.

The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly He steps on a banana peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted, "SHIT!!!!!!!........."

LESSON - THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN.*

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to thetop of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy.""Well, why don't you nibble on so me of my droppings?" replied the bull."They're packed with nutrients."The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enoughstrength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eatingsome more dung, he reached the second branch.Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top ofthe tree.He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story: BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keepyou there

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the birdfroze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there,a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realizehow warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there allwarm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following thesound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptlydug him out and ate him.

Moral of the story:

(1) Not everyone who sh!ts on you is your enemy

(2) Not everyone who gets you out of sh!t is your friend

(3) And when you're in deep sh!t, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up hershower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a toweland runs downstairs.When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbour. Beforeshe says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you £800 to drop that towel."After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked infront of Bob. After a few seconds, Bob hands her £800 and leaves.The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she getsto the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?""It was Bob the next door neighbour," she replies."Great!" the husband says, "did he say anything about the £800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story: If you share critical information pertaining to creditand risk with your shareholders in time , you may be in a position toprevent avoidable exposure